Snip and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

I have a confession to make.  I am probably the world's worst seamstress.  Wait, no probably about it - I'm pretty sure I am the world's worst!  I'm not the least bit precise, I hate all the pinning and measuring....it's just too much fussing for me.  I could never be a quilter!  But the biggest reason I can't sew?  I don't use a sewing machine, I fight with it.  I think the machine just completely protests being used by somebody who doesn't know what she's doing.

It started in high school.  My mom never taught me to sew, and I never really had the desire to learn.  Therefore, I never touched a machine until Home Ec class in school.  Every time I tried to use the machine, it broke.  I'm not kidding!  The teacher would watch me set up the machine closely, make sure I was doing everything right, but I don't think I ever completed a project in that class.  She could sit down and use the machine first, and it would be working wonderfully.  I'd take her place, not change anything (not even switch out the fabric), and the machine would burst into flames.  Ok, that's an exaggeration, but it wouldn't have surprised anyone.  Luckily, the Home Ec teacher had a sense of humor.  I'd never have passed the class if she didn't!

So, a couple years ago I thought I'd tempt fate, and I asked my husband for a sewing machine for Christmas.  I told him nothing expensive or fancy, since chances are it wouldn't survive the first use.  Well, it's still alive, but only because i haven't thrown it out the window yet.  I still can't sew.  The machine still fights me.  Every now and then I can coax it to cooperate with me, as long as I'm not sewing anything more difficult than a square or rectangle.

I currently know a few preggies, and they all happen to be due around the same time this summer.  Miss I'd-Rather-Make-A-Gift-Than-Buy-One (a.k.a. Me), decided she was going to make all her prego friends "designer" flannel burp cloths.  But this means I had to get out Mr. I-Hate-Jenny's-Guts (a.k.a. My Sewing Machine).

It actually went surprisingly well, I'm happy to report!  I promised that I was only sewing straight lines and rectangles, and the machine went easy on me.  I managed to whip out about 10 cloths in an afternoon.  I was pretty proud of myself!

First, I went to JoAnn's and picked out my flannel.  I chose quilter's flannel - it seemed softer and there was a good selection of patterns.  I prefer to make rather everyday, mundane things more unique and unexpected, so I picked out patterns that one might not normally see burp cloths made from (hence, the skulls).  All my friends right now are having boys, so I went with more "boyish" stuff.  I like these three patterns in coordinating colors.  I grabbed some matching chenille, too.

I cut my flannel and chenille into 9"x14" rectangles (I measured one of my son's burp cloths and added an inch to each side).  I got 6 cloths out of 1/2 yard of flannel.  I put a piece of flannel and a piece of chenille right sides together and, believe it or not, sewed them together, leaving a small opening to turn it right side out.  Then I turned them and hand-sewed the opening shut.

And ta-da!!!  Finished burp cloths!  I know, I can hardly believe it, either.  But now what?  I couldn't just throw them in a gift bag and head off to a baby shower - no way!  There's nothing wrong with that, but that'd be too easy.  I always have to make things more difficult for myself.  I considered folding them in nice squares and stacking them up, then tying them with a ribbon, but I wanted to do something different.

So, I folded them in half twice, lengthwise.  Then starting with the short side, I rolled them as evenly and as tightly as I could.

I secured the rolls with rubber bands.

Then I covered the rubber bands with ribbon.

I was originally going to make them look like flowers - put them on sticks, cover the sticks with green pipe cleaners or floral tape, put a bunch in a terracotta pot with some diapers, but I couldn't decide how I was going to get them on the sticks.  While I was messing around with them, my 7-year-old commented that they looked like snail shells.  BING!  Light bulb went off.

I got two pairs of infant socks that (sort of) matched the flannel, and stole some poly-fil from an unfinished craft project.  I stuffed the socks, then tied them shut.

I drew eyes and a mouth on the toes with a sharpie, and I added some black wire antennae - just poked the wire right through and then curled the ends.  Then, using double-sided tape, I stuck the snail sock body to the burp cloth shell.

I decorated a box I had on hand with the saying, "snips and snails and puppy dog tails, that's what boys are made of."  I filled the box with diapers, then perched my little burp snails on top.  I didn't bother to wrap it - I thought it looked pretty cute just the way it was.  You could wrap it in tulle tied with a bow, or one of the large cellophane bags, though.

And there you have it.  If I can do it, you can do it.  Seriously.  I'll bet your sewing machine doesn't even hate you.